A Day In the Office

So I'm talking to one of my co-workers when he mentions his cousin has roid rage and another family member has Aspergers syndrome. I offer that I have hemorrhoids too. He looks at me funny. Then he says he has AADD. I ask what that is and he says its adult attention deficit disorder. I tell him I had that too but now its cured. He asks what cured me and I tell him my dad smacked me in the head and told me to 'pay attention', so he gets up and leaves.

A few of the office secretaries come to my table and sit down. They give me the quick look over and decide, I guess, that I am safe enough, being almost 30 years older than them so they start talking about sex to each other. I interrupt and say, "don't talk about sex in front of me, I'm a married man - I haven't had sex in like 5 years". They all laugh, so I get up and see if I can find a less rude, more understanding table.

I sit down with some younger guys and we start talking about real estate. One of the guys asks "hey Ken, how many properties do you own". Not wanting to sound like a big shot I say, well, I just have an itty bitty house up in Central Florida, a small little condo down in South Florida with two little tiny dogs. One of the kids asks "gee Ken don't you have anything big" and I answer "yea my wife" at which point they all stare at me so I decide to move to yet another table.

I'm sitting alone when my boss comes up and sits next to me. "How many hours do you have into this project so far" he asks. I reply "I have goals on my mind, not hours" to which he responds, "I have goals too and one of mine is to see your hours". I try the water cooler.

Just as I'm getting ready to take a drink of water a guy comes up to me and stops me. "Hey don't drink that" he warns, "do you know what fish do in that?". He hands me a beer. I look at him and say "it's like 8:30 in the morning, I don't drink before 9am". He laughs and takes a swig from his. Finally, a kindred spirit.