Overview
I recently had to take a 5 panel piss test as a precondition for employment. I ended up passing using basically the N2 Dilution method (which I include at the end of this article) which is probably sufficient. I am just paranoid (note paranoia is a relative concept since if everybody IS out to get you you are not paranoid, you are right) so I added a bunch of other stuff to this process to be extra safe. To quote Sir Isaac Newton "If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants". I have a surface knowledge of many subjects but I have zero knowledge of chemistry since I never attended high school and only a few years of college (I passed a GED) so please forgive me if I do not explain the chemistry involved properly.
The process I am about to describe takes about 5 days so it is not recommended if you have less than 5 days to prepare. It is probably overkill, but I have friends who have abstained for 60 days and still failed so I feel abstinence by itself is not adequate. I personally passed one about 20 years ago by abstaining 30 days and they say weed has a half life of about 45 days but based on your personal chemistry (% of body fat, metabolic rate, etc) your mileage may vary.
If you want you can skip to the 'Process' section as the next few sections are simply background information and my ranting against the concept of drug testing for marijuana.
The Philosophy
I am an old hippie. I have been smoking weed over 50 years now and it is my drug of choice. Not only did I encourage my kids to smoke weed rather than any other drug (including alcohol) I always taught my children that if you can't quit something for 30 days then you probably have a problem. I also believe if a company drug tests for weed then I probably don't want to work for them but as they say, "a drowning man will grab even at the tip of a sword" and so as I have gotten older and am now experiencing age discrimination in the workplace as well as the financial strains of preparing for retirement I find I no longer have the luxury of being particular and so while I would prefer Abbie Hoffmann's advice (bring in a vile of battery acid and blow the machine up) I now find myself having to play the game.
I think it is stupid to drug test for weed. I have seen no harmful effects and have never considered it even when I owned my own companies. If I need to rely on a drug test to determine if someone is not doing their job I am a poor manager. At the time of this writing nearly half the states in the US have some form of legal marijuana and hopefully in the future it will be legalized at the federal level. Unfortunately the drug companies and alcohol manufacturers have some powerful lobbying behind them so it may still take a while.
The Chemistry
Passing a piss test requires taking into consideration several components; body fat, THC content and urine gravity.
First there is the percentage content of THC in the sample. THC typically has a half life of 45 days which means in most cases it should be below the acceptable level after 45 days if you abstain for the entire 45 day period, however, I have friends with high body fat levels who have failed a drug test applying to NASA after abstaining for 60 days so this in itself may not be adequate which is one of the reasons why I am writing this article.
Your metabolic rate (how fast you burn fat) contributes to how quickly fat is burned out of your system so if you are a heavy set person who does not exercise (like me) you will lose THC more slowly than someone who is skinny and exercises a lot. In general women and skinny people have a high metabolic rate while fat males have a slower metabolic rate. I am a fat male.
Using this knowledge we can start exercising about 5 days before the drug test (burn old fat out of the body) and then the day before the test we stop exercising and start ingesting new fat. About a day before the test we start ingesting fatty foods like cheeseburgers, potato chips, cheese, sausage, etc. This will cause the new fat to take over and it is this fat rather than the older stored fat which will show up more in the drug screen. So to summarize, about a week before the test exercise as much as you can and then a day or so before the test stop exercising and start eating a fat heavy diet. In my case I hate exercise so I simply walked at a fast pace about a mile a day (I am a very slothful individual) up until the day before the test. For three days before the test I tried to avoid fatty foods and the day before the test I ate 2 bacon double cheese burgers for lunch and the night before the test I ate a bunch of chips and dip and cheese and crackers. On the day of the test I ate a sausage and egg muffin about 2 hours before the test.
Second, there is the THC content in the sample. It would be wonderful if we could ingest something that would bind with the THC molecules and pull them out of the system when you evacuate (go to the bathroom). If this binding also caused the THC to appear weaker this could be beneficial and so to this end I used something called Sonne's #7. I am not endorsing this detox method over any other, it is simply the one I used. There are others which may be more effective and I am not aware of them. This particular solution is the one I used so I include it here based on my personal experience. From what I understand, the active metabolite (which is effectively clay) will bind to the THC molecules and help mask the THC. How, I do not know as I am not very well versed in basic chemistry. I simply mixed 5 tablespoons of Sonne's #7 with an 8 oz glass of water each morning and each evening for the five day period (including the day of the test) and drank it. The recommended dosage is one table spoon for each 50 lbs of body weight and I weigh about 200 lbs. FYI, I am also about 5' 11" tall.
Third is the urine gravity, for lack of a better term. What this means is when they analyze the urine they look for markers which tell them how dense the urine is. If you simply drink a bunch of water your urine will be too diluted and they will think you are trying to hide something (which you are) and you will fail. One of the markers they use is creatine. The objective here is to do what's known as 'creatine loading', which will increase the creatine levels in your urine above the normal levels which is fine since we are going to ultimately submit a diluted sample so hopefully the higher than normal level will end up looking normal. Creatine comes from a variety of foods (red meats, beans, etc) and so in my case I ate rare steaks for dinner the three nights before the test and I ate roast beef sandwiches for lunch. I also bought creatine powder and took the recommended dosage for the entire 5 day period (including the day of the test) which is to say that immediately before I exercised I put 2 scoops in an 8oz glass of Gatorade and shook it well, then exercised, then I put 2 scoops in an 8oz glass of Gatorade after I exercised and drank it again. Why Gatorade instead of water? To also help with the urine gravity as I assumed Gatorade was a little heavier than water (every little bit helps).
I drank 64oz of Gatorade every day of the 5 day process (which is probably not entirely necessary but creatine loading can dehydrate you a bit) and noticed my urine became extremely clear. To combat this I ingested vitamin B12 (which is recommended as part of the N2 Dilution method) each day as well as taking in about 10 times the daily dose the morning of the test. Even though I tried increased dosages and crushing the tablets to combat the time release aspect of them, to be perfectly honest I never really saw yellow urine the entire time, mine was always clear. I believe the B12 also helps with the urine gravity as described in the N2 method.
These are the three general areas I focused on and how I went about dealing with them. It should also be noted I abstained for about 2 weeks (14 days) before the drug test. I would have preferred to wait an entire 30-45 days but that was not an option in my case but if possible give yourself as much time as possible.
The Process
First, abstain for as long as possible. Obviously the longer the better. Then, about 5 days before your test …
Day 1: Go to the bathroom (both if possible) when you wake up and before anything else take your dose of Sonne's #7 (or equivalent) and wait an hour. Next (maybe around lunch time) mix your creatine powder with Gatorade and drink it, then do your exercise, then take another dose of creatine mixed with Gatorade. Try to ingest as little fat in your daily diet as possible. Also try to drink some water and/or Gatorade during the day as creatine may dehydrate you a bit. Finally, before bed at night take a second dose (mixed with water) of your Sonne's #7. I also started taking double the daily dose (2,000mg) of vitamin B12 each day.
Days 2 and 3: The same as above but start eating a creatine heavy diet. In my case this was a roast beef sandwich for lunch and rare steak for dinner. Also try to eat lean cuts of meat. If your not a meat eater try to figure out what creation heavy foods you can eat.
Day 4: We are now a day away from our test. Do the same as the previous day (including meat for lunch and dinner) but here we can start ingesting some new fat. In my case I switched out the roast beef sandwich for lunch with 2 bacon double cheeseburgers. I also ate potato chips and dip and cheese and crackers during the day and before I went to bed.
Day 5: This is the day of the test. Basically follow the N2 Dilution method described below (using Gatorade instead of water) but in my case I also ate a sausage and an egg muffin for breakfast and a bacon cheeseburger right before the test. This is the morning I also crushed up about 10 times the daily does of vitamin B12 (10,000mg!) and mixed it with Gatorade. Also note I did not take aspirin which is the recommended first step.
I took my test around noon so I had to start around 8AM that day. I pee'd in the cup and about 3 hours later I got the call that I had passed. It was an annoying process but I start work on Monday so all I can say is it worked for me. Hope this helps and good luck.
The N2 Dillution Method
Note this was copied from marijuana.com.
I would have posted this there but I have been waiting over 3 weeks to get my account approved.
DILUTION: aka WATER LOADING
FOR BEST RESULTS ABSTAIN FOR A BARE MINIMUM OF 48 HOURS BEFORE THE TEST AND THE LONGER, OF COURSE, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCES.
Time permitting, 2-3 days before the test you will want to begin raising you Creatinine levels. Creatine, which metabolizes into Creatinine in 24-48 hours, can be raised with red meat and/or Creatine supplement, available on line or at nutritional food stores. The amounts of Creatinine metabolites are measured as part of the urine integrity check (the check to see if the sample is urine and if it is diluted). Creatinine level must be 20mg/dl or greater. 200-250mg/dl ranges are ‘my’ normal.
Step 1. 4-12 hours before the test take 4 aspirin (not Tylenol or Advil). This step may be repeated every 4-6 hours up until 4 hours before the test.
Step 2. 3-4 hours before your test, start by drinking 2, 8oz. glasses of water. Water can be substituted for with Cranberry or fruit juice, teas or even soft drinks. Then drink another 8oz. every 15 minutes for the next hour for a total of 6 glasses of water (48oz).
Step 3. In about 1 - 2 hours (depending on your system) you should be voiding ‘clear’ urine about every 15 - 20 minutes. Continue to drink 3-4 oz. more water to replace what you've voided every 20-30 minutes.
Step 4. 1-2 hours before the test, take vitamin B2 or B complex (about 10 times the daily recommended dosage). If the vitamins are time release, crush them before taking. You may also take vitamin B with each glass of water, 2 times the daily dosage, if you find it easier.
That's it. Within 30 - 45 minutes of taking your vitamins, if you took your vitamin B in 1 dose, your pee should turn from clear to "vitamin" yellow and remain so for the next 2-4 voids. Be sure you have voided diluted urine at least 3-4 times before you test. It is always best to do a practice run as everyone is different and times may vary. Good luck, remember to post your results, and don’t forget that a diluted results, while not the results wanted, IS NOT a failed results but may require a re-test. For more info on diluting/water loading, go to http://www.dot.gov/ost/dapc/main/waterloading.pdf
Hope that helps!!! N2
PS There is no absolutely 100% effective dilution method. That includes ‘detox’, ‘xxx carbo’ or ‘super flush’ magic potions. But these guidelines will, IMHO, work as well as ANY magic potion, better than many magic potions and you got it here for FREE$$$$$$$
