An Ode to Joy

Joy lived at my South Florida condo when I first moved there in 2005. In fact she was on the condo board at the time. I recall the day the board had to interview us before we were permitted to actually purchase our condo. We were required to bring our dog since our condo only took dogs less than 18 pounds. The board sent two ladies to interview us; Joy and Barbara. Barbara was the condo manager as well as a board member. They were both in their late 50s. When we got to the part where they interview the dog (sorry, but purchasing a condo in South Florida in the year 2005 was a bit surreal) Barbara mentioned how my dog looked to be a bit over 18 pounds. In fact, my dog weighed 21 pounds. I recall Joy trivializing that and saying, "oh Scoop (Scoop was my dog's name. Don't ask how she got that name, just don't let your youngest child talk you into allowing him or her to name the new dog) looks like she meets the weight limit". I was always grateful for that bit of introductory kindness. I try to pride myself on my loyalty and gratefulness, however, some times it becomes difficult to maintain one's loyalty as I will now show.

Sometime around 2009, Joy, who was employed as an airline stewardess for nearly 30 years at the time, decided mentally to give up. I don't know how that happens, but after witnessing it first hand I can tell you with absolute certainty that it does happen. Someone will just decide they don't give a shit anymore about anything or anyone, including themselves. It was like one day Joy was getting up and going to work, and the next day she quit her life.

I had never been particularly close to Joy, though in our condo of just over 100 units everyone pretty much knows everyone else. We have a pool area where you will see your neighbors frequently. We have yearly Christmas parties, New Years Eve celebrations other activities where we get to know each other better, and of course we have various factions (or cliques) within our own little community. I tend to gravitate towards the burn outs and drinkers so Joy and I were a bit better acquainted as we would meet 3-4 times a year at various friends units to drink wine and watch a big football game or other such event. Not that Joy and I would go there together, just that she tended to be at these get-togethers as well. I suppose a typical get together might consist of 8-12 people, each bringing some food or a bottle. Typical stuff that has been going on in apartments and condos around these parts for years. Joy was a pretty serious drinker but not to the point of being obnoxious. She would sit around drinking wine with her friends all night so obviously by the time she went to bed she was a bit lit but not to the point of bringing attention to herself anymore than anyone else, which is to say, not very much at all.

Joy's apartment was directly above mine on the third floor (I am on the first floor) and once in a great while she would knock on my door and ask if I had a spare pack of cigarettes or a joint I could spare. I didn't think anything of it as it was an infrequent occurrence, but sometime around 2009 I noticed the frequency increasing and the requests becoming more bizarre. I started hearing rumors from Barbara and Jackie, two of Joy's closest friends. It seems they were turning their backs on her as they explained to me one day. Joy had become a nuisance. She had shit in the hallway the night before. Her apartment was a mess. She had bedbugs and they were spreading. She was renting out her living room couch to all sorts of strange people who the condo would ultimately kick out but usually not until they were discovered by doing something stupid, like propping open the public doors, or stealing the toilet paper from the communal restrooms.

She had not paid her quarterly association fees in over 2 years and her apartment was in foreclosure. She was wandering the halls in a diaper using a walker and knocking on peoples doors at 1AM asking if they could lend her money to pay the cab she had just disingenuously taken home. She had quit her job (or been fired, no one seems to know) and had no visible means of income. In general, she had become the local nuisance and everyone was wondering what in the hell was taking the bank so long to take possession of her condo.

This change in behavior happened to the best of my recollection over the course of a month or two. It seems in retrospect like one day Joy was going to work at American Airlines and the next she was wandering the hall in a diaper. What made this all the more perplexing was that she had not lost her mental facilities. You could still talk to her and reason with her and she was always available for a drink and some local gossip. As it turns out perhaps this was the problem.

Being a bit of a tippler myself I do not pay much attention to other folks drinking unless they become belligerent or suicidal (which seems to happen all too frequently) so to me it seemed like overnight that Joy's demeanor had changed. Joy's close friends on the other hand say they suffered through the gradual degradation over a period of several years. It seems that once she retired from her job Joy had way too much time on her hands, an affliction I share, and began drinking all day long and going out until all hours of the evening. In addition, where as in the past the girls would all go out for happy hour together, Joy's increasingly bizarre behavior caused them to think they might be better off without her company, which in turn caused Joy to become more lonely and isolated. In my assessment, at some point Joy just gave up on herself.

Eventually the bank foreclosed and Joy was taken away to an assisted living facility out west. My wife and I lost touch with her once her cell phone was disconnected and every one we asked would just roll their eyes if we asked if they had spoken with Joy recently. Then, about a week before Christmas I hear a knock on my door and there stands Joy, hunched over her walker, asking as always if I have any cigarettes or money to spare. It seems she finally got her retirement (she just turned 60) and disability and is now living down the road from us. Thinking this was a good thing I convinced my wife to visit with Joy at her new residence for Christmas. We bought her a card and some minor gifts and spent about 2 hours with her. We came home feeling good about ourselves and the fact that we had finally done something for someone else with no expectations. I personally hate volunteer work and such because after you do it you feel like you need to be doing more. Volunteering is contagious like that, but I suppose that's a good thing.

Of course the reason I wrote this blog is because about an hour ago Joy knocked on my door. We saw her at the assisted living facility on Christmas, the day before yesterday. Now that she is in the neighborhood and can take the bus it seems she will be coming around to visit with all her old friends here more frequently. I gave her the typical pack of cigarettes and ten bucks but what can you do about someone like Joy. I just don't know.

Elegance Sucks

Around 1987 I got a job at at my first start-up (I believe it was my fourth job), at a company called CASI. If I remember correctly, CASI stood for Control Access Systems Incorporated. It was a start-up based in Boca Raton Florida, started by a fellow named Jim Baker who was previously in charge of IBM's internal controlled access systems group. When he heard IBM was planning on dissolving his group and vending out the job, Jim figured he would have a leg up on the competition because of his close ties to the decision makers at IBM, so he quit IBM after twenty years of service and founded CASI. When I started working there they had been in business a little over two years and had a healthy infusion of venture capital and were rapidly expanding. Even so, I had to force myself into the job, and took a big risk to do so.

The Director of Engineering at the time was John Hession. Hess had been an Engineering Manager for IBM at the Boca Raton site, in charge of a group that designed ICs (computer chips) and had been hired away by CASI. John was originally from New York, and we hit it off pretty well at my initial interview. Well, not exactly. I had a reputation in our small engineering community (the Boca Raton area in the 1980s) as a good coder, hard worker and a pain in the ass to work with. What I told John was that I did not want just another coding job, I could stay at Siemens for that. What I wanted was an opportunity to be an Engineering Manager. In my mind, the next logical stop on my way up the food chain. John wasn't too excited about that since he already had an Engineering Manager but he did need coders. In retrospect, John had one open spot available and I was not his first choice. He really wanted a guy named Mark because Mark was a hardware engineer and he was working at a company who made credit card terminals which CASI was planning on using as well. After my initial interview with John I came in about a week later and did my technical interview. I spoke with a fellow named Bill, another ex-IBMer and I spoke with Don (yet another ex-IBMer), the stereotypical gnarly Charlie whos back the company is usually founded on. Everything went well and as I was leaving I asked John when I might start. He said "how about two weeks from Monday" and in my youthful exuberance I shook his hand and promptly quit my job at Siemens and showed up to work "two weeks from Monday". The only problem was that when I showed up for work John was out of town and nobody knew anything about me. After several hours they finally got John on his hotel phone and handed the phone to me. I was feeling pretty squeamish by this time and realized I had not really gotten anything in writing from CASI up until this point so when John said "Hi Ken" I responded "Hi John" and we both enjoyed several moments of awkward silence before John said, "uh, Ken, usually you wait until you get an offer letter in the mail, I hadn't had time to formalize the offer yet as I have been quite busy and out of the town the last several weeks, I don't know what to tell you".

I am not a gifted genius so what came out of my mouth next was instinct, not the result of bravado, or planning. I said, "that's OK John. That's why you hired me right, to help you out in times like this. Don't worry about it - your handshake is good enough for me". Again, several moments of awkward silence (this time perhaps as much as 30 seconds). Finally John says "put Judy (the HR lady) back on the phone". I see her look at me while they are talking and when she hangs up she says, "sit right here, I'll be back in a minute". After like fifteen minutes the owner of the company, Jim Baker a slight bespectacled fellow in his mid to late forties, who always seemed to be walking around with a cup of coffee in his hands, comes out and introduces himself. We go into his office and he must have stared at me for like a solid two minutes without saying a word. When he did speak it was obvious he was perturbed. First, he asks about my time at IBM. How long, what group, who was my first line, second line, etc. He basically told me John had screwed up and that they had sent an offer out to another fellow at the same time John interviewed me. "You mean he still hasn't made up his mind yet", I asked incredulously. "looks like he didn't want the job as badly as I did" was the next thing out of my mouth. Jim Baker gave me a cold hard stare and stated matter-of-factly, "no I guess he didn't", at which point he asks me to wait outside his office.

I showed up ready to work at 7:45am that day. At around 3pm Judy the HR lady comes to get me from outside Jim's office and brings me back to her desk where she hands me the phone. Its John and I'll never forget what he said next (though its how he said it that I really remember); "Ken, (brief uneasy pause), I want to welcome you to CASI. You will be reporting to Bill initially. Judy will give you your paperwork to sign. I'll be back in town Thursday". This was the least reassuring first day on the job I have ever experienced. I purposely make sure my new hires are never treated like this. When they arrive I make sure their user accounts are set up, their hardware is running, their HR paperwork prepared. Hell, it took them three days to get me a computer and a cube at CASI.

When John got back Thursday it was obvious he was none too happy I was there, but he kept it civil and gave me a bunch of assignments which I completed successfully. Eventually he grew to trust me and would take me into his confidence (give me free tickets to the Yankee spring training games, take me to his favorite bar after work and such) and after about 6 months he made good on his promise and gave me my own group and a couple of good projects. Though I was now an Engineering Manager I had no engineers to manage because nobody at the company wanted to work for me so it was decided it would be best if I just hired new employees who had not already had the pleasure of working with me. John makes me hire Mark (the guy they wanted to hire rather than me, turns out the hold up was money) as my hardware engineer and he gives me an intern, a mechanical engineer named Joe, and he lets me hire a software programmer (though at about $20,000 below the going rate - about a 33% discount). I hired a fellow who was recommended to me from a friend at Ungermann Bass, named Adrian, who worked out well and eventually replaced me as the Engineering Manager, ultimately becoming the Director of Engineering after a company called Rusco bought CASI.

Now I have always been a bit of a hack in everything I do. I play golf, tennis, guitar and I have never taken a lesson. I enjoy playing but not practicing. Its my personality. When it comes to programming, I am what I like to think of as a special ops coder. Kind of like the US Marines. They will take any hill you order them too, just don't be too concerned about the collateral damage. My code can be a bit messy. It can be a bit unstructured and difficult to maintain. I acknowledge that, though usually its a result of the compressed time given to me on most of my projects. I usually get the difficult project, the shit work, and I have made a career out bringing them in on time. So when somebody complains that my code is ugly I don't take it too harshly, especially if I was given the impossible and a week to do it. So when it came time to manage my first project I was adamant we would do it right. As is so often the case when this type of decision is made, we quickly fell behind schedule.

Though John was technically my bosses boss, his hit and run micromanagement style effectively made him everyone's boss and so as soon as he hears my group has missed the first deadline we were given he summons me to his office. "What's the problem Ken" he demands. "I give you three resources and the best you can do is 0 for 1?". So I try to explain to John that we took longer in the design phase because we wanted to come up with a more elegant solution to the problem since we anticipated having to reuse the code extensively in the future. "Let me tell you something" John explains, "I have been in this business for over twenty years and one thing I can tell you is that elegance sucks". "I want that code delivered and debugged and working by the morning for this device for this environment and I don't give a shit if it works for anything else or anywhere else". Such is the way quality decisions were made back in the dark ages. After over thirty years in the business its not clear to me that things have changed much.

Engineering Management

"the first myth of management is that it exists" Robert Heller.

I recently came across this (http://www.joelonsoftware.com/items/2006/08/07.html) post and I couldn't agree more. The whole idea behind effective management of software engineers is motivation and education. Engineers must be motivated about the project they are working on and have adequate domain knowledge to get the job done properly.

It is often the case that engineering is not consulted during the early stages of a project or that engineering estimates do not fit the financial model. This leads to milestones which are inconsistent with reality and as a result, sometimes we ask our engineers to do the impossible. This is OK if we can handle it. If, however, at the end of the project we overlook the fact that we were asking the impossible in the first place then we can demotivate the troops. Troop demotivation is one of the first signs of ineffective management. The second is lack of education.

If an engineer understands the bigger picture when working on a project, they are less likely to produce semantic flaws. Proper education of the engineer on domain specific knowledge can improve software quality, though I doubt there are any definitive studies to support this conclusion. Constantly educating engineers on the tools they use to ply their trade and challenging them to find better ones will produce better code. Again, I doubt this is quantifiable.

Finally, motivation comes from within so all the engineering manager can do is to challenge the engineers with things that can't be done. Kind of to pique their interest in the task at hand and the concepts necessary to efficiently solve the problem. Software is a beautiful art that way; sometimes while solving a problem you can be learning a new concept.

Le Tub, Hollywood Florida

The Only Thing Exceptional Was the Wait

In a GQ article some time around 2005 or 2006 Le Tub was voted the best hamburger in the nation. It was quite a shot in the arm for a restaurant previously only known to locals. It appears they are suffering from the arrogance of success.

Le Tub is a quaint restaurant located on the west side of A1A in Hollywood beach. It has been there since 1975 and was originally owned by a guy named Russell Koheth who made a ton of money flying advertising banners across the beach. Russel originally bought a Sunoco station however it did not do well so he converted it to a restaurant. He decorated it with toilet seats and other bathroom fixtures and a legend was born. Russell passed away around 2005 and left the restaurant (in his will) to a fellow named Steve who had been managing it for about 15 years. Steve still runs Le Tub and does the cooking in a tiny sweat box of a kitchen. I really wanted to like Le Tub.

Unfortunately, lunch at Le Tub was aggravating at best. Parking is almost non-existent. Patrons would do better to park at the public parking garage across the street rather than waiting to get an empty parking spot in the tiny lot (which is free when you can find room). The menu is slim with hamburgers being the main item. The wait staff is terrible. I asked if there was an open table and was told, "I don't know, look for yourself". Once I sat down it took my waitress 18 minutes to say hello. When she did she would not take my order. Instead she asked if I wanted anything to drink. I ordered a mojito, but she said they didn't have those. I ordered a margarita and 16 minutes later she returned with my drink (served in a tiny plastic cup) and took my order. I asked for a burger medium rare. She asked me if I wanted it red inside, I said, no, pink, and she responded, medium then. Twenty eight minutes later it turned out it was well done. In all it took me one hour and two minutes to get a well done burger.

I sat back and smiled like a man who has just saved 20% of the tip and asked for a second drink. Needless to say it was delivered 23 minutes later. After I finished my burger I hunted down my waitress and coerced her into bringing me my check which she added up incorrectly, and it took me about five minutes to convince her the total was $27.92, not $37.92. After watching several tables come in after me and leave before me, I decided to personally hand her $30.00 and allow her to keep the change. The parking attendant got a five and after nearly an hour and a half I was out of there vowing to never return again.

It is a shame the wait staff is so poor, as the place was one of my favorite getaways for years. I used to bring clients there for lunch in the 1990s and had been going there occasionally since 1979. Alas, all good things must come to an end.