An Ode to Joy

Joy lived at my South Florida condo when I first moved there in 2005. In fact she was on the condo board at the time. I recall the day the board had to interview us before we were permitted to actually purchase our condo. We were required to bring our dog since our condo only took dogs less than 18 pounds. The board sent two ladies to interview us; Joy and Barbara. Barbara was the condo manager as well as a board member. They were both in their late 50s. When we got to the part where they interview the dog (sorry, but purchasing a condo in South Florida in the year 2005 was a bit surreal) Barbara mentioned how my dog looked to be a bit over 18 pounds. In fact, my dog weighed 21 pounds. I recall Joy trivializing that and saying, "oh Scoop (Scoop was my dog's name. Don't ask how she got that name, just don't let your youngest child talk you into allowing him or her to name the new dog) looks like she meets the weight limit". I was always grateful for that bit of introductory kindness. I try to pride myself on my loyalty and gratefulness, however, some times it becomes difficult to maintain one's loyalty as I will now show.

Sometime around 2009, Joy, who was employed as an airline stewardess for nearly 30 years at the time, decided mentally to give up. I don't know how that happens, but after witnessing it first hand I can tell you with absolute certainty that it does happen. Someone will just decide they don't give a shit anymore about anything or anyone, including themselves. It was like one day Joy was getting up and going to work, and the next day she quit her life.

I had never been particularly close to Joy, though in our condo of just over 100 units everyone pretty much knows everyone else. We have a pool area where you will see your neighbors frequently. We have yearly Christmas parties, New Years Eve celebrations other activities where we get to know each other better, and of course we have various factions (or cliques) within our own little community. I tend to gravitate towards the burn outs and drinkers so Joy and I were a bit better acquainted as we would meet 3-4 times a year at various friends units to drink wine and watch a big football game or other such event. Not that Joy and I would go there together, just that she tended to be at these get-togethers as well. I suppose a typical get together might consist of 8-12 people, each bringing some food or a bottle. Typical stuff that has been going on in apartments and condos around these parts for years. Joy was a pretty serious drinker but not to the point of being obnoxious. She would sit around drinking wine with her friends all night so obviously by the time she went to bed she was a bit lit but not to the point of bringing attention to herself anymore than anyone else, which is to say, not very much at all.

Joy's apartment was directly above mine on the third floor (I am on the first floor) and once in a great while she would knock on my door and ask if I had a spare pack of cigarettes or a joint I could spare. I didn't think anything of it as it was an infrequent occurrence, but sometime around 2009 I noticed the frequency increasing and the requests becoming more bizarre. I started hearing rumors from Barbara and Jackie, two of Joy's closest friends. It seems they were turning their backs on her as they explained to me one day. Joy had become a nuisance. She had shit in the hallway the night before. Her apartment was a mess. She had bedbugs and they were spreading. She was renting out her living room couch to all sorts of strange people who the condo would ultimately kick out but usually not until they were discovered by doing something stupid, like propping open the public doors, or stealing the toilet paper from the communal restrooms.

She had not paid her quarterly association fees in over 2 years and her apartment was in foreclosure. She was wandering the halls in a diaper using a walker and knocking on peoples doors at 1AM asking if they could lend her money to pay the cab she had just disingenuously taken home. She had quit her job (or been fired, no one seems to know) and had no visible means of income. In general, she had become the local nuisance and everyone was wondering what in the hell was taking the bank so long to take possession of her condo.

This change in behavior happened to the best of my recollection over the course of a month or two. It seems in retrospect like one day Joy was going to work at American Airlines and the next she was wandering the hall in a diaper. What made this all the more perplexing was that she had not lost her mental facilities. You could still talk to her and reason with her and she was always available for a drink and some local gossip. As it turns out perhaps this was the problem.

Being a bit of a tippler myself I do not pay much attention to other folks drinking unless they become belligerent or suicidal (which seems to happen all too frequently) so to me it seemed like overnight that Joy's demeanor had changed. Joy's close friends on the other hand say they suffered through the gradual degradation over a period of several years. It seems that once she retired from her job Joy had way too much time on her hands, an affliction I share, and began drinking all day long and going out until all hours of the evening. In addition, where as in the past the girls would all go out for happy hour together, Joy's increasingly bizarre behavior caused them to think they might be better off without her company, which in turn caused Joy to become more lonely and isolated. In my assessment, at some point Joy just gave up on herself.

Eventually the bank foreclosed and Joy was taken away to an assisted living facility out west. My wife and I lost touch with her once her cell phone was disconnected and every one we asked would just roll their eyes if we asked if they had spoken with Joy recently. Then, about a week before Christmas I hear a knock on my door and there stands Joy, hunched over her walker, asking as always if I have any cigarettes or money to spare. It seems she finally got her retirement (she just turned 60) and disability and is now living down the road from us. Thinking this was a good thing I convinced my wife to visit with Joy at her new residence for Christmas. We bought her a card and some minor gifts and spent about 2 hours with her. We came home feeling good about ourselves and the fact that we had finally done something for someone else with no expectations. I personally hate volunteer work and such because after you do it you feel like you need to be doing more. Volunteering is contagious like that, but I suppose that's a good thing.

Of course the reason I wrote this blog is because about an hour ago Joy knocked on my door. We saw her at the assisted living facility on Christmas, the day before yesterday. Now that she is in the neighborhood and can take the bus it seems she will be coming around to visit with all her old friends here more frequently. I gave her the typical pack of cigarettes and ten bucks but what can you do about someone like Joy. I just don't know.